mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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