Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
