she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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