Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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