You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
