I hope mine doesn't look like that
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
