come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
