If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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