Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
