And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
