I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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