it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
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