if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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