So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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