Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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