i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
