plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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