UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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