Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
