i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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