Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
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I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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