Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
