You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Pants are for mortals
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