There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
