Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
