the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
They have beer where we have blood.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
