I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
