I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
