So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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