I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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