sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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