oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
