Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
