He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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