I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
