last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
