great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
