And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
