Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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