if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
