he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
