I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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