I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
