She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
