I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
