Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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