everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
