I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
