big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
