Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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