i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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