I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize