i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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