community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
