you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
