haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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