Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
operation have a gay friend backfired
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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