Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
