I want to walk on stilts...naked
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
