I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize