at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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