he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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