And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my being single is dangerous.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
