if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
