his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
