Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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