i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
