I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
